


He Thinks He's Hiss-terical

by rocknrollalien



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: puns, so many puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5227073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocknrollalien/pseuds/rocknrollalien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chat Noir is infurmous for his puns, and because of this, Alya draws closer to the pawful truth about Marinette and Ladybug.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Thinks He's Hiss-terical

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second fanfic for this fandom and they both revolve entirely around puns. I can't believe that this is my life now.

“Good morning, Ladybug,” Chat Noir called from his perch atop a three story building.

 Marinette, on street level, poised to fight crime, only afforded him a glance and a small smile. “Get down from there, you dope! We’ve got an akuma victim to tend to!” she shouted back at him.

 He flipped and clamored down the building more gracefully than Ladybug would ever give him credit for and landed next to her with a flourish. She, of course, ignored it but for an eyeroll. For Chat, that was good enough.

 “It was a good call, getting me down from there. It was almost im-paw-sibble to hear you,” he said, proceeding to get into an appropriate battle stance while laughing at his own ‘joke’ if puns could even be considered such.

 “No,” was Ladybug’s reply, and she sprinted off after the akuma victim, who had decided it was time to run rather than face off against both of them at once.

 “Come on, don’t be like that! Can’t I purr-suade you into enjoying my sense of humour?” he asked, somehow keeping up while telling bad jokes simultaneously.

 “Stop!” she said, but he saw her smile, and knew it was only a matter of time before she laughed.

 “Oh? Are you really that furrious with me? It’s too bad, beclaws I think you’re purr-fect!”

 She whirled on him, visibly trying not to laugh. “You can’t use a purr pun twice! I call foul! Now stop messing around and help me catch him, won’t you?”

 He laughed and his grin only grew wider. “You’re quite the purr-son to talk!” he replied, looking more delighted than ever. “We’re suppawsed to be purrventing that victim from getting away! Meowby we should stop chat-ing and chase him, no?”

 “You’re intolerable!” she shouted, sprinting away once more.

 “I think I’m claw-some!”

 "STOP!”

 

* * *

 

Marinette practically collapsed onto her bed, drawing a snort from Alya, who sat the desk nearby.

 “Why are you so tired all the time, Marinette?” Alya asked, toying with her phone. “It’s not like you have an after school job.”

 Marinette sat up. “What, do you have a job now?” she asked.

 “Hunting down Ladybug’s true identity is my job, obviously!” Alya replied, laughing. “It’s a job without breaks, too. Even now I’m looking at footage taken of her earlier this morning while you were sleeping in! I don’t get how you can be so sleepy after sleeping in so late nearly every weekend.”

 “Oh, uh..” Marinette stammered, a nervous smile coming onto her face. “My dad has had me helping out in the bakery!” she lied. “You wouldn’t believe how exhausting kneading dough can be!”

 Alya tutted, looking at Marinette sympathetically. “Well then no wonder you’re tired! Why don’t you take a little cat nap while I look over this video?”

 Without thinking, Marinette groaned and flopped back down onto her bed. “I think I’ve had enough of cat related things to last a lifetime.”

 Alya raised an eyebrow. “What cat related things have you been dealing with lately?”

 “I…” Marinette couldn’t think of a good enough excuse, and did what she always did when this came up--allowed Alya to leap to her own reasonable conclusions.

 “What’s wrong?” Alya said, and something in her voice made Marinette look at her curiously. “Cat got your tongue?”

 “You’re claw-ful!” Marinette replied, and immediately slapped her hands over her mouth.

Alya practically cackled with a laugh that hadn’t been heard since she’d been Lady Wifi. “Who has wormed into your brain so completely that you actually made a cat pun?” she asked, wiping tears from her eye. “You hate both cats and puns, so this is a real anomaly!”

 Marinette covered her face in shame. “Just some guy I know. He’s a real handful.”

 Alya’s laughter died down and she squinted at Marinette. “What guy? I know all your friends and none of them tell puns,” she said. “Except, well, Adrien tells puns from time to time I suppose…”

 “Ugh! No, this guy is far worse than Adrien as far as...well, as far as everything. Don’t even compare the two!”

 “But who makes so many cat puns? The only person I can think of with a real reputation for puns is…” Alya paused, realization dawning on her face. “No...it’s impossible…”

 Marinette paled and sat up again, terrified of what words might come out of Alya’s mouth next. Had she realized? If she knew that Chat Noir was the pun friend, then the logical conclusion that the only person who spends enough time with him to absorb them all is Ladybug, and if Alya knew that she was Ladybug...only disaster could result from that!

 “I knew Chat Noir saved your life after Evillustrator was after you, but you didn’t tell me you had kept up contact!” Alya exclaimed. “He’s pretty cute, too! Maybe Adrien has some competition!”


End file.
